i-cant-drive.net

This post was originally titled, “Hibernation,” and was going to be a treatise on staying in during winter in order to avoid the cold and snow. I will admit it upfront: I do not like driving in the snow. It’s scary and can be stressful, and my little Honda Civic feels like a deathtrap. I dread having to drive anywhere: work, the grocery store, my condo. Still, we have only had two big snowfalls this winter, and if I wasn’t traumatized enough after witnessing a woman have to drive through a red light because she couldn’t stop, or after almost crashing into a railing over 294 because I was sliding, seeing cars end up in ditches, or having to–this is the worst–clean my car in the middle of a raging blizzard, I think I will be just fine. Here’s the thing: some really amazing things have happened to me during crazy snowstorms.

In 2000, my mom took me shopping on a day so snowy and crazy that the mall closed early, but not before I found the perfect little black dress for a party I was invited to by my crush.

In 1999, I went on a road trip with my sister and two cousins to Indianapolis for a Backstreet Boys concert (yeah, yeah, hilarious). We stayed there two nights. On the second night, the weather was insane, but we still drove to the drive through liquor store to get some beers. That was an awesome trip. It’s one of those things that I can’t believe we did, especially in those conditions. It makes for a great memory, though.

In 2009, my niece Juliana was born. It snowed that night. Having been born in August, I can maybe brag that it was sunny. I think snow makes for a cooler birth story.

In 1999, there was a snowstorm so bad that it forced everyone to stay in. My family and I hung out in the basement, played mahjong, and drank. Then, once the snow stopped and the alley and streets were clear enough so that we could go somewhere (and the piled up snow was taller than I was), we went shopping. We were carefree and simply enjoying each other’s company.

In elementary school, we used to play on the snow mounds made by the snowplows at the end of the parking lot during recess.

In 1994, I have this distinct memory of having walked in snow that was up to my crotch. I was wearing my school uniform: red plaid skirt, white tights, and boots. It was a wild thing for me to do, but a much more efficient way to get into the car versus walking around the snow.

For many years, the Zoo Lights Festival at Lincoln Park Zoo was something I loved to visit. Hanging out at the zoo, in the city, at night. Having hot cocoa and snuggling with someone you like or love. Bundled up in a great jacket, wrapped in a scarf, wearing gloves and earmuffs.

I was tickled to see people sledding and even skiing in a park by my parents’ house the day after the most recent snowfall. What a reward to enjoy the snow with your family and friends after a dreadful commute the day before.

I dread winter, I worry about driving in the snow, but I love winter in Chicago. I love that a little snow doesn’t stop us. I love how my snot freezes up when its below zero. I love sweaters and my puffy jackets and my wool coats. I love the feeling of turning off my car after driving through snowfall. I love snowmen and snowladies and snowpants.

So, let it snow, Chicago. Let it snow. Just try to snow on days or times when I don’t absolutely need to drive. And be kind to Lake Michigan and Lake Shore Drive.

I am a dreamer. I am an observer. My heart races when I consider the possibilities; when I imagine what it would be like to be a part of it all. Swimming provides a perfect metaphor. First of all, I’m never comfortable in swimwear, no matter what the circumstances are. Secondly, I don’t know how to swim. So, even after I have worked up the courage to go from dipping my toes in to immersing my entire body underwater, I am never really swimming. I’m just in the water, never going to the deep end, fearing for my life  if I find myself there anyway, almost jealously resenting those who are able to swim.

It’s weird: I think I’m as scared of success as I am of failure. Furthermore, I don’t particularly enjoy being the center of attention, which makes me the antithesis to my fellow Leos. Here’s the thing, though… I have been delighted lately. By my friends, by trying things I have never tried before, by letting loose and having fun, by learning that someone I already thought was interesting was so, so much more than I could have ever imagined them to be. All this delight has changed me. I want to stand out. I want to succeed.

We all have goals, but everything that is great or exciting in my life are things that I never sought to have. That says a lot, because I truly have crazy hopes, dreams, and fantasies that I keep close to my heart. So I’m learning to inch closer to the deep end. To trust someone who is a great swimmer instead of clinging to someone else who can’t swim, either. There’s a lot of positive energy with the swimmers and a lot to lean.

There’s a quote attributed to Neil Gaiman that I’m using as my mantra right now:

“If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.”

I don’t want to watch anymore. I want to be a part of it. I want to see something I want and go after it. Yes, the best things in my life have been surprises. But I’m ready to start swimming, both literally and figuratively. Okay, maybe not literally. I REALLY don’t like swimwear.

Please don’t think less of me for writing about John Mayer. He kind of grosses me out, but I don’t dislike his music. One exception is that Daughters song. And Waiting on the World to Change. And Your Body is a Wonderland, because it makes me think of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs. Anyway, whatever your taste in music may be, you can’t deny that he has talent.

I clearly remember the moment that John Mayer got to me and tugged at my heartstrings. I was waiting in the car for my sister, and The Heart of Life came on. I found myself listening to the lyrics, really listening. Before I could stop myself, I was crying like a mofo. And I wasn’t even having a bad day!

I hate to see you cry
Laying there in that position
There’s things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it’s nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

It’s a simple song with a good message. It lifts me up whether I need a boost or not. It’s a nice surprise whenever it pops up on iPod shuffle, like it did today and thus triggered my desire to blog about it. It’s best consumed in moderation. I don’t want it to go all Why, Georgia, Why on me. And, listen. At least I didn’t tattoo the lyrics on my arm.

All my friends are smart, beautiful, and kindhearted. It’s true. I didn’t pick them. They picked me. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel like an oddball: what’s this short Asian chick who looks like she dressed in the dark doing with the beautiful goddess? I know that seems self-deprecating and idiotic, but I do feel that way sometimes. It’s like on Gilmore Girls, where Rory’s best friend is a Korean girl named Lane. Lane is an awesome chick, but she is raised by a strict and god-fearing mother. Therefore, Lane lives vicariously through Rory in some ways. When I think about my friends, I often remember this moment in Season 1 of Gilmore Girls, right after Rory is kissed for the first time. Click here to watch the moment (can’t embed the video, dammit).

Lane: “I’m so jealous. That’s it, I need to get some dumb, ugly friends!”

I can relate to this in a way, but do I really want dumb, ugly friends? Uh… not really! Does that make ME the dumb, ugly friend? Who cares? My friends are the best. They motivate me and support me and want me to be the best I can be. I learn so much from them. I can only hope that they learn from me, too.

If I am who my friends are, then I must be doing something right. I’m so grateful to have found (or, really, been found by) true kindred spirits and soul-friends. All it took was opening my mind, opening my heart, reaching out to people with whom I want to be friends (no matter how intimidated I may feel), and being myself. Yes, kids. Listen to your teachers and parents and mentors when they tell you to be yourself. Let your freak flag fly!

So… thank you to my friends. You know who you are. I love you guys.

My nieces (ages 6 and almost 3) are silly geese. Take, for example, their edit of a popular lyric from Frosty, the Snowman:

Thumpety poo poo, thumpety poo poo
Look at diarrhea go!
Thumpety poo p0o, thumpety poo poo
Over the hills of diarrheaaaaaaaaahhh!!

May your holidays be merry!

Scenario: You are at the airport security checkpoint. The person in line ahead of you forgot her car keys.

How to be rude:
1. Find lady.
2. Say loudly and with attitude, “You forgot your keys. Didn’t you notice? You better go back and get it!”

How to be nice:
1. Find lady.
2. Say, “Excuse me,” and tap her gently on shoulder if necessary. Keep in mind that some people don’t like to be touched so use your best judgement.
3. Say nicely, “You left your keys back there!”

How would you prefer to be approached if you had left your keys at security?

I used to journal a lot as a young girl (wait, I’m NOT 17 anymore?) and, taking a cue from Oprah, I would come up with three things I was grateful for each day. It was a nice exercise, but almost frustrating on the days when I would need to reach for something to be grateful for.

Um… I am grateful for sunshine, um, for, uh, scrunchies, and, uh…. contact lenses.

I have my stop-and-smell-the-roses days where I step back and take in how lucky I am. I also have my everyone-sucks-and-what-did-I-do-to-deserve-such-crap days. Lately, though, I’ve felt so enormously grateful. Despite my hardships, which really are minor even though they are a big deal to me, my heart has managed to be warmed by something everyday. Did I really just write that? How cheesy! My point is, nothing extraordinary has happened to me lately. I whine and rant all the time. But the “ordinary” things in my life are so good that it’s almost shocking.

I started writing a post recently that was going to be a wish list of sorts: a post about the things in my life that I felt I was lacking. And then I realized that the greatest things in my life are things I never wished for. They just happened. I’m grateful! And I feel so lucky.

Lucky to be close to my family.

Lucky to have genuine friends who challenge me to be a better person but love me just as I am.

Lucky to be around people who make me laugh.

Lucky that I’m able to make other people laugh.

Lucky for little nieces and a baby nephew.

Lucky for my health even though I’m not so great at taking care of myself.

Lucky to have a job that I like.

Do I have everything I want? No. No, I don’t. But, I’m lucky to have the things that I have. Now… if only I could get lucky, things would be nearly perfect…. ahem. Bye!

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my Etsy shop. 

Site: LisaCanCraft on Etsy (link)
What You Will Find: Unique handmade magnets with super strength.
Perfect for: Anyone who loves a little splash of color or personality on their fridge or file cabinet. Makes a great small gift for anyone from an acquaintance to a BFF.

I first saw magnets like these at a Renegade Craft Fair a long time ago and thought it would be a great idea to personalize them with pictures of my niece and give as a gift to my sister and brother-in-law. That worked out pretty well, so I then started scouring magazines and catalogs for patterns and images that I could use to make some more, and gave them as a small holiday gift for my co-workers.

I love being able to give out these magnets as a small gift, and they are always well-received. They’re not difficult to make and I find it relaxing to work on them. I discover a lot and feel super creative when I eyeball pictures and patterns in order to see what can make a pretty magnet. No two of my magnets are the same!

I just listed new items in the shop, and I hope you will check them out. As a reward for making it through this post, you can get 30% off your purchase through 12/31 using code ICANTDRIVE30.

Site: Ethereal Confections (link)
What You Will Find: Classy and delicious chocolates that use only the finest ingredients and no preservatives. They are dairy free, gluten free, and vegan*.
Perfect for: Anyone who appreciates fine chocolates and cares about what they put in their body.

Who doesn’t love chocolate? Well… there’s a lady at work who doesn’t like it (Hi, Bettie!), but chocolate is generally a crowd pleaser. It tames the wild, hormonal, and anxiety-ridden beast that lives inside of us. My friend Tammi got me a box of Ethereal truffles for my birthday and I absolutely fell in love with them.

Ethereal Confections are handmade locally (local to me, anyway) and contain local ingredients. You can definitely taste and see how much care is put into making the chocolates. They chocolate itself is so fresh and tasty–and they don’t use any milk or white chocolate. The flavors are creative but never weird for the sake of being weird. There’s something for everyone from the traditionalists to the adventurous.

Ethereal Confections just opened a store in Woodstock, IL where the chocolates are made. Their products can also be found in a handful of stores in Illinois and Wisconsin. You can also buy directly from their web site.

I hope you will consider Ethereal Confections for the chocolate aficionado in your life!

*I contacted Ethereal Confections through their web site to find out if their products are vegan. Sara informed me they are vegan, however, honey (which some vegans may not consider to be totally vegan) is used in the following: Lavender Honey truffle, Sesame Ginger truffle, Ginger Orange bar.

All photos were found on www.etherealconfections.com. I would have taken a picture of the chocolates that were given to me but I devoured them.

For the holiday season, I decided to share some of my favorite shops and items. This is the first post in what I hope will be a series of gift-giving suggestions. Hope you find something you love for the special people in your life—-or for yourself!

Garnet Mistletoe Earrings

Site: Little Pretties (link)
What You’ll Find: Handmade earrings, bracelets, and necklaces using only quality materials and gems
Perfect for: Bauble- and jewel-loving gals who want to be complimented on their accessories (what lady doesn’t?)

Jen is one of my Internet BFFs and I am so excited that she has listed new items in her Etsy shop for the holiday season. She started making jewelry about three years ago while vacationing with friends in the Outer Banks. She credits her friend Kim with getting her hooked on making jewelry. She is self-taught in her craft and says that practice makes perfect! Here is a sampling of some of her items:

Jen makes jewelry that she would want to wear. She likes items that comes from antiquity. She has most recently been inspired by jewels in the Met Museum. Her other artistic interests are glass blowing and rustic pottery.

I am a proud owner of a few Little Pretties and I get compliments on them all the time from girls and women of all generations. Whenever I’m looking for a particular color or style for a friend, Jen knows exactly what to make and I’m always happy with the result. She’s an awesome woman who makes awesome jewelry!

Check out Little Pretties on Etsy and let Jen know that you found out about her from i-cant-drive.net! You can also follow Jen on Twitter. DO IT. She’s crafty AND clever.