I nearly had a nervous breakdown at Target this past Sunday morning. (Don’t ask why.) The point is, I was looking at wastebaskets or dinnerware or something, and my face started to feel really hot and I had to stop myself from falling apart, right there, in the middle of the store. Or maybe I’m just PMSing, like, majorly. Anyway, I’m in such a rut. And it sucks!!
Category Archives: Crazy Talk
Can't Let it Get to Me
It’s funny how certain things can really strike a nerve or, in some cases, hit you right in the gut. Things that you never thought would bother you — things that you know shouldn’t bother you — things that you hate to admit are bothering you. Things happen and you’re so affected by them. And trying to understand the reason why they bug you so much makes you even more uneasy. It’s like when you find out that your ex has met someone new. Or, when you find out that someone you trusted told you a little white lie. It’s that feeling you get when you give someone advice that you really believe in, and you realize that they decided to act differently. Or when you call up the guy who just asked you out, and he thinks you’re another girl.
Anyway, I heard something recently and it is bugging the crap out of me! I don’t know why and I hate the fact that I’m unhinged by it. I suppose it’s moments like this that remind us of who we really are, what we are lacking and what we truly desire. They remind us that things that are sacred to us are meaningless to others. Oh, I just hate everyone right now!
Leaving the Nest
So, like, I really want to move out of my parent’s house. I feel completely stuck and retarded. I love my parents and living at home is the most practical thing I can do right now. Here’s the thing: moving out wouldn’t be a way to stick it to my parents and I do care about saving my money. But if I actually do decide to move out, I feel like my parents will resent me and I’ll end up regretting my new investment (I’ll be on a diet of Ramen and hard boiled eggs for the next five years and high-speed Internet will be a luxury that I had during better times).
This is what happens when you come from a family that loves to make fun of the rebels and weirdos; when you grow up with people who love to say “I told you so” but hate to hear it from one another; when you’re surrounded by people who love to tell you what to do but constantly question their own beliefs.
Anyway, the point is, I hate that I’m stuck, but I’m perfectly happy to blame my family for preventing me from getting a life. Isn’t that sick?
Sigh.
One of the worst things ever is when you act like a complete fool, you can’t control it, it’s at a moment that matters, and while you’re acting a fool, you know in your head that you look like an idiot and you can be so much better.
I just wanted to say that. Is it wrong that I’d rather take the easy way out? I would almost rather look like a fool than give something my all and get no rewards. I’m such a sick person.
Thanks for reading my rant.
Looney (or Luny?) Week
I had to look up the moon calendar because too many bizarre things have been happening – and it’s only Tuesday. First off, I’m having a pretty hellish week at work. People are totally needy! It’s to be expected. I mean, it’s not like this behavior is out of the ordinary. But for things to be pouring on me in one day is just plain stressful.
Bugs are acting crazy outside, people are driving recklessly, my gastrointestinal system is all out of sorts, and I have a more intense dislike for people than usual. Oh – and I’m gravitating toward people that I usually avoid like the plague. What’s wrong with me?
It’s not quite the full moon yet, but people sure are preparing for it. The wolves will be howling this weekend. Oh, yes. They will be howling.
Why Can't We Be Friends?: Part Deux
Gretchen: Hi, Helga. Buffy and I were planning to get sandwiches tomorrow.
Helga: Oh. Well, can I have a sandwich, too?
Gretchen: Of course. I’m inviting you to come with us!
Helga: Oh, good! Thanks! I love sandwiches!
A few weeks later:
Gretchen: Helga, what do you have there?
Helga: Fanny and I picked up some sandwiches.
Gretchen: Oh, I wish you would have told me. I really wanted a sandwich and I think Buffy would have wanted a sandwich, too.
Helga: My bad! See ya!
One week later:
Helga: So, I heard that you and Buffy got sandwiches yesterday.
Gretchen: Yeah, we had a craving. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you, but you weren’t around, so…
Helga: It’s okay. You and Buffy are always doing things without me.
Gretchen: We can get sandwiches today if you want, just you and me.
Helga: No, thanks, Fanny and I went out for tacos.
Gretchen: Fanny and I talk about getting tacos all the time and she didn’t say anything to me.
Helga: Um, yeah. See ya!
Are Helga and Fanny good friends? You be the judge.
Why Can't We Be Friends?
I don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t even have a steady group of acquaintances that I hang out with on a regular basis. I do have family that I can count on for support and to be there when I need a friend. But, I don’t really have a lot of friends.
Do I give off a vibe of being incapable of carrying on a long-term committed friendship? Because people who are “friends” seem to have other friends that they would take a bullet for. But I’m never one of the people they’d make that sacrifice for. It’s always, ”yeah, we’ll hang out” or “give me your number and I’ll call you” but we never do end up hanging out and my phone stays silent.
