Category Archives: Personal

Currently

Happy Sunday! Wait. Happy Monday! Oh, how I love and hate Monday holidays. I know I should be glad that I will only have a four day work week (and I only had a four day work week last week since I took Friday off), but the weeks where we get Monday off seem so long. Anyway, here’s what’s been happening.

Turning Veganese turned celebrated its six month anniversary which also means that I’ve been on my way to being vegan for six months. I feel great and morally superior to omnivores. Just kidding about that last part. But, I do feel great. I have had to shop for new clothes to go with my slightly new body. A better diet isn’t everything, though, so…

…I’ve decided to start working out again. My reasons for wanting to exercise are mostly superficial. Like I said, I feel great, but I would like to look great. I would also like to be more physically fit. I walked up seven flights of stairs at work a couple weeks ago and sounded like I was having a panic attack afterward. A guy at work does it everyday and said he started out the same way, but now it’s pretty much effortless. That’s good motivation. We have an on-site gym at work, so all I have to do is drag my ass in there. I dusted off the old gym bag (I literally had to dust it off) and packed it for tomorrow.

Another thing I’m going to try doing is bringing my lunch to work. I spend so much money on coffee, breakfast, lunch and snacks at work. It’s icky and it’s putting me in the poor house. Anyone got any recommendations on a good French press? I have one but I’m thinking of buying a nicer one and keeping the old one at work.

As part of my lazy Memorial Day, I thought it would be nice to watch a movie while laying in bed. I guess I could have watched it while working out in front of the TV, but I didn’t, OK? I watched a modern-day classic, the 2011 version of Footloose.

Watching this movie did not change my life and I bet you are rolling your eyes or laughing at the fact that I watched it. Well, I enjoyed it! I thought Kenny Wormald was charming. Shut up.

I also watch good stuff, like Mad Men. Ohmigosh, did you see last night’s episode, “The Other Woman?” Sooo good. So disturbingly good. Quietly shocking and thought-provoking. I just love Jon Hamm. And I love Ginsberg. I think Ben Feldman is cute and I love him in Drop Dead Diva and that Hillary Duff movie he was in and I swear to you that I am an intelligent person with good taste in television and movies.

Music-wise, I’m liking the new record by The Walkmen. I also can’t get Rihanna and Carly Rae Jepsen out of my head. Why am I admitting this on my blog? That’s my cue to end this post and go to bed.

 

Ready for anything… I think

So, my last post was a little nutballs, but it did have a point: I’m anxious for something new to happen. Oh my god, the ridiculousness. I’m so worried about not being interesting or about not ever growing or changing, but I have. I have slowly been morphing into a new me over the last several months. How has my life changed? Let’s count the ways.

I started a new job. My work life is completely different compared to one year ago. I can probably say that I have grown more professionally in a few months than I did in the 6 years in my old position.

I am transitioning to a vegan diet. I still can’t really believe this one. I drink my coffee black and I can’t remember the last time I had a steak. My body feels different and I feel great.

My physical appearance has slightly changed. I actually put effort into looking decent. I wear a little makeup and I care about what I wear. I actually cringe when I think about how I used to dress for work. I was so lazy and really quite frumpy. Lazy and frumpy still happen, but the fact that I have a pair of skinny jeans and started wearing skirts again is kind of a big deal.

My friends and social life (both on and offline) have changed. This one makes me both glad and sad. It’s inevitable that people will grow apart or lose touch as time passes and things change–or as I come to the realization that some people are toxic in my life. There are a few people whom I really miss, but all I can do is tell them so when I have a moment to pause and contact them. On the other hand, I have grown closer to some friends and made new ones. I’ve been really lucky.

I’ve learned a lot and I’m eager to learn more. I want to keep up with the world, engage in fun and intelligent conversation, travel and be a part of things. It’s not always easy because I’m pretty much an introvert who doesn’t mind staying at home, but my efforts to join in and be friendly and do something I have never done before have never resulted in regret.

All this change has been weird and gradual. I don’t think I could have known a year ago that this is what I would be like right now. Wanna know what’s even more weird? People have started to notice me. Believe me, I am generally OK with going unnoticed. But the attention I’ve gotten by simply being me has been really nice.

Is it wrong that I still want more? I hope not, because I know I can do more. And you know what? I think I deserve more. I just need to quit hesitating and giving myself escape exits. I’ve certainly changed, but it’s because I’ve taken chances and been daring. That’s a good thing, but I also can’t help but think about all the opportunities I’ve let slip by, knowingly and unknowingly.

There’s this weird feeling in my gut that all this change I’ve grown through lately is preparing me for something  I’m growing impatient. Whatever it is, I think it’s gonna be great.

Reflection

Warning: This post may seem kinda whiny and sad and personally embarrassing (to me). 

Woman. Aunt. Sister. Daughter. Those are the words that I use to describe myself. And lately I’ve been wondering if that’s all I will ever be. I have written before about feeling stuck. I don’t feel that way anymore; I know that things come with effort and practice. If I feel stuck, I’m really the only person to blame.

Faith in God or the universe or your daily horoscope is a funny and fickle thing. We’re encouraged to pray, to have faith, to believe that good things happen to good people and that rewards will be given to those who deserve it. I had an interesting conversation with a friend awhile ago where we talked about relationships. She asked if I was religious. I asked why. Her response was that if God had planned for her to be with someone, she would be.  She did acknowledge that she probably should put some effort into meeting someone. I actually understood her perspective, but internally I was making a mental note that I didn’t want to end up like that. I used to pray a lot. I still do sometimes. But I don’t like begging God for things that I really just need to go out and get on my own. I can pray everyday for some chocolate, but I have all the resources and skills I need to go out and get chocolate on my own. If anything, God’s rolling his eyes and calling me a lazy ass, hoping that I get the message that I need to be proactive in getting the things I desire. Message received, God.

So, okay. I no longer feel stuck. But I’m starting to feel something else, something that’s almost worse…

Acceptance.

I’m finding that I’m talking myself into being OK if the rest of my life is about taking care of other people and then hanging out by myself in my empty house. I’m accepting that I may have to take care of myself for the rest of my life, unable to lean on someone else. It will be OK to be a spinster aunt. It’s cool to travel on my own and sleep alone and eat dinner alone and cook meals for one. Other friends of mine have accepted it. I can do it, too.

Wait. What the fuck am I saying? I’m so not cool with that.

I’m reminded daily that I’m a party of one. When there’s a movie or concert that I want to see… when I need to run errands or pay bills… when I open up the trunk of my car and see my shoes all over the place. There are other moments when it hits me hard, though. Sometimes it’s stupid stuff, like I need to get my car fixed or detailed, or I need someone’s opinion on an outfit or hairstyle, or even when I can’t decide what to have for dinner and I wish someone was there to give me ideas (or even cook for me). Sometimes it’s when I’m really sad or really happy or just want to share something, but there’s no one besides my old teddy bear who will care to listen.

I’ve learned to take care of myself. It’s an amazing feat, really. I hate doing stuff on my own or going anywhere by myself. I take pride in the fact that I can and do, but I don’t want to. Not anymore. It sucks. I want someone, someone who chooses to be that partner in my life. I’m not saying that I want to depend on someone or that I don’t ever need my own space. I am just so ready to have that person in my life who isn’t obligated to love me, but does so anyway. Is it really so hard to find someone? No. The fact that I’m complaining about it would probably make some people mad. All I can say is that I’m holding out for something true. I’m waiting for someone who wants the same things that I do. Too many times, I find myself counting the compromises that I would have to make in order to be be ‘happy’ with someone. Read the previous sentence again. It’s screwy.

Sigh. Right time, right place, right person. I’m still counting on God or the universe or whatever to make that happen. I’m doing what I can and doing what I’m comfortable doing. I’m growing a little impatient, though. Spinster aunt is starting to seem like a real possibility. Maybe what I need to do is dabble in some witchcraft? That’s another post for another day.

Thanks for reading my ramble. I certainly hope I don’t come off as too desperate. But everything I’ve written here is true, so… yeah. No matter how things turn out for me, I at least want to know that I tried. And if that’s all I have, I think it will be enough.

Personality and Shift

I worked a social event at work this week, which is pretty hilarious for a few reasons; the main one being that I am not exactly known for being a bubbly, welcoming hostess. I’ve always admired people who are always “on,” who put others at ease right away and at least appear to be genuinely friendly and considerate. It’s kind of the same way that I admire people who are able to speak intelligently or stay poised when they are faced with a challenge. I want to be like those people. I’m learning as I get older that it takes practice to become the person you want to be, in the same way that you have to do your homework if you want to be smarter and more knowledgeable about something.

But, back to the event. It’s hard for me to encourage people to mingle with others whom they don’t know, or to motivate them to play along with icebreakers. It’s hard because I myself am not a great mingler, and I kind of hate icebreakers. The icebreaker at this particular event was to choose an animal from a sheet of animal stickers and pick one that reflected your personality or that you identified with.

Most of the crowd played along. Some asked if there was more to it (there wasn’t). Some picked immediately (“I AM A LION.”); others put a lot of thought into the animal they chose. Some people rolled their eyes; I quietly told them just to pick one. Others thought it was a lot of fun. For the record, I picked the brown bear, mostly because the black bear just looked kind of creepy but also because the tiger seemed too Asian, I didn’t like the lion’s big mane, the frog was cute but not suitable, I didn’t like the zebra’s ears, I don’t look like a giraffe, a monkey seemed offensive, a fox might make it seem like I’m trying to imply that I’m sly or foxy and… anyway, I picked the brown bear. My rationale: I look cute and I like sweet things like honey, but I will probably attack you if you threaten me. People seemed to back away from me after I shared my rationale. I wonder why?

Using a very serious tone, I told one of the participants that he would be judged based on the animal he chose, so he needed to choose carefully. Thankfully, he was clever and had a sense of humor, so he laughed heartily and proceeded to mention this article from The Onion, published a week ago. Please go read it. It’ll take 3 minutes.

I’ll admit that I spend way too much time thinking about what people are thinking about me before I snap out of it and remember that everyone is too busy worrying about themselves. It’s not like I’m a Kardashian. I just need to make sure I’m cool with who I am, and I have to remember that I am a work in progress. I’m not Miss Congeniality, but I have still come a looooong way in terms of social skills. Just ask anyone who knew me when I was a little kid. Wow, I’m really making myself sound like a socially retarded person. I’m not. I don’t think I am… am I? Ahem. Anyway.

It’s a fact of life that things change, people change, our relationships and faith and dependencies change. It’s not always easy for people to accept that or even believe that. It’s kind of funny that I still find myself surprised by changes in my own life while at the same time being very uncomfortable when I observe how some people and things have NOT changed. Anyway, I’m not telling you anything earth-shattering. My point is that I feel a shift in my own life right now. My personal priorities are being shifted, my personal and professional relationships are evolving and re-shaping, my attention toward strangers and new acquaintances is heightened (no doubt a side effect of the social event), and my confidence is high in some areas, creeping up in others, and yet plummeting in some regards.

There is one thing about me that hasn’t changed and won’t ever change, though: I want people to like me and respect me. I care a lot about that. I would have to say that the feeling that someone dislikes me or disrespects me is the worst feeling ever. I don’t see any weakness in being amiable as long as I’m also genuine and truthful. It does require me to keep my mouth shut and avoid people sometimes, lest I tell them that they are dumb poo poo heads in a rage of honesty. Because, really, telling someone they are a poo poo head doesn’t do anyone any good. (What might do some good is telling someone that you think they are charming and smart and interesting and handsome… right? I need affirmation, people.)

In conclusion, here is my note to myself and to anyone who cares: Progress. Progress. Be smarter. Do your homework. Practice. And take the risk. Take it, before the opportunity is gone and then you will feel like a poo poo head dummy with regrets.

I’m Goofy and I Know It

I saw the most incredible thing while traveling last week:

It’s a dude using a pay phone. A DUDE USING A PAY PHONE. I obviously had to take a picture. What I was unable to capture (to my dismay) were the moments before he picked up the phone, when he read the instructions and then looked for change. HE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. Well, either he didn’t read the instructions well enough or no one was home because he never did speak to someone. Poor guy. I probably should have offered my assistance; he seemed to have trouble counting his change, too. I was not a good citizen at the moment. Plus, I was too busy giggling about it.

I caved and bought a pair of TOMS:

They’re comfy but let me warn you that I had to exchange my original pair for a half size smaller than my usual size. I’m a dumbass for not listening to my friend Monika when she told me to get a half size smaller. I do like them, but… how do I put this delicately… I have to be careful what outfits I pair them with because with the wrong pants or look, I basically look like an Asian refugee or female prisoner. This has to do with their slipper-like look, the fact that I’m Asian, and the fact that I have tiny feet (my TOMS are a size 5). TOMS gives a free pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair bought; Monika joked that I was one of the free pair recipients. Yes. That’s how they look on me. I’m wearing them anyway, dammit.

I finally finished reading Zeitoun. Wow. It’s so quietly powerful. I admit that I’m fiction’s bitch; it was Dave Eggers’s name that made me pick up Zeitoun more than anything else (yes, yes, ironic since he doesn’t really write fiction). I think it’s a really important story, and I would encourage you to read it. I started my next book, which was recommended to me by my friend Jen:

So far, so good. I may actually finish this one by next year…

This is nearly blasphemous, but I haven’t been keeping up with TV much lately. Mad Men is the only show I faithfully watch, but I did miss last night’s episode. It’s so good and Sunday nights are a perfect TV night for me. Plus, it’s Mad Men, people. If I’m only going to keep up with one show, it had best be Mad Men. Other than that, I’ve been marathoning Doctor Who. After Martha’s last episode, I wanted to pause before getting into the Donna episodes and the end of Tennant’s run. I feel like such a Who nerd for wanting to prolong Tennant’s run for as long as I can even though I’ve seen it all already and I’m a fan of Matt Smith’s doctor. Hahahaa, are you reading this? I can’t believe I’m talking about Doctor Who. Anyway, I still wanted something British, but more stiff and romantic, so I watched (for the first time) the BBC’s Pride & Prejudice miniseries:

Ewwww, Colin Firth! Stop being so sexy with that look and your dark curly hair and acting all snotty but then being all wonderful… I take it back, Colin Firth, please let me have your babies and is it okay if I call you Mister Darcy? Nothing will ever beat this adaptation! Disclaimer: I am not a Jane Austen nerd so take my assessment with a grain of salt. I loved it so much that I almost watched it again immediately, but there are other things to enjoy, such as Audrey Hepburn. I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I know, I know! How lame of me. However, I did start by watching Sabrina and Audrey Hepburn is so pretty and petite and I hate her guts now.

In non-TV entertainment, I was uber elated to hear that the Art Institute will have a Roy Lichtenstein exhibit from May 16 through September 2. I fell in love with Lichtenstein when I saw a huge print of one of his works hanging in my boss’s office years ago. It’s such great Pop Art and I need to make sure I haul my ass downtown to see this one. Who wants to go with me?

Finally, and also in non-TV entertainment, I attended my niece’s dance recital yesterday.

Isn’t she sweet?!

Nah. She’s a goofball, just like her aunt. Alright, gotta go. I’m eating a mango and it needs my undivided attention!

Currently

My department at work is really into engagement. Therefore, we have a book club meeting of sorts tomorrow. Required reading on top of the rest of the crap I have to do is just want I need.

Work has been challenging and there’s no relief in sight. Therefore, I am so glad that I have a weekend getaway planned. Woohoo! I’m going to Toronto to visit one of my favorite people. I will probably be exhausted when I get home Sunday night, which should make work on Monday really interesting, but the change of scenery and face time with a good friend is so completely worth it.

Here I am, looking all confused while wearing my glasses. I wore my glasses yesterday as part of my Professor Melissa costume since I had to give that presentation. What do you guys think? It’s nice to wear glasses instead of contacts once in awhile, especially since I have a pair that I like. I also got my face threaded today. I kind of miss my bushy eyebrows but I don’t miss my Tom Selleck mustache. Threading is awesome and Patty, my threading artiste, is awesome.

Do you like these earrings? So do I! I just got these in the mail from my pal Jen, who handmade them. LOVE LOVE LOVE. There’s nothing listed in her Etsy shop right now, but contact her if you’re interested in seeing more. Yes, really!! I have several pairs of earrings made my Jen and a pretty turquoise necklace, and I love all of it.

April is coming to a close soon. Time passes too quickly. Way too quickly. The good news is that I can see and feel how much I’ve changed in the past week and month and months and especially in the past year. It’s nice to take a step back, evaluate myself, and feel pride in who I am. And I can only get better. I’ve still got more oomph to put into my efforts of getting stuff done and being a better and happier person.

The best way to describe how I feel right now? I kind of feel like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, right before this moment:

She had a shitty day that didn’t end so badly and then she started to feel pretty awesome about herself and then Jake Ryan shows up at her sister’s wedding after having looked for her all night and morning. I wonder if my Jake Ryan is looking for me… I LOVE YOU, JAKE RYAN. Pick me up in your cool car. Or, I can pick you up. Despite the title of my blog, I can drive.

Quit Looking At Me

Hey! Quit looking at me while I:

  • eat
  • work
  • clean
  • watch a movie you’ve already seen
  • flirt
  • shop
  • talk
  • brush my teeth
  • drive
While you’re at it, quit giving me compliments. Specifically, quit complimenting me on my presentation skills. Okay, I don’t really mean that. I did give a presentation today and I guess I didn’t suck. Sigh. I know I can be better at it and put in more effort, which is why I don’t take the compliments well. Also, no one is going to tell me to my face that I suck as a presenter, even though I solicit constructive criticism from my peers. I kept responding by saying that I was so nervous, I didn’t feel prepared, blah blah, so one person said that I “must be a good actress.” She’s not totally wrong.
When I am nervous or unsure, all I can do is think: WWYDIYWTMAVOY? What would you do if you were the most awesome version of yourself? There are times when we are put on the spot and we can either choke or be glorious. I choose to be glorious. I also choose to remain true to myself. Therefore, I can be quite the goof, even in a professional setting. Honestly, few things are more disappointing and downright weird than seeing a supposed professional tightass wearing a cropped t-shirt and making out with her husband in a public place. I speak from experience, people. I’ll respect you much more if you let your freak flag fly all the time.

LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY! Unless it involves you looking at me while I eat. Seriously. Get help if you’re a dining spectator. It’s just not right.

Day With My Girls

I got out of bed this morning with one dreadful goal: leave the house. It’s ridiculous that I even have to motivate myself to venture out into the world, whether it be to run errands, see a movie, or simply go for a drive. I’m not antisocial or depressed. I’m alone when I’m in the house and I’m fine with that. It’s going out and still being alone that bugs me sometimes. I guess I’m not always my favorite company.

My sister and nieces came over this morning to pick up something. My older niece had a thing to do today, so they couldn’t hang out. But I found myself asking my little niece if she wanted to hang out with me. I was surprised when she said, “Yes!” And so, I had a partner in crime today.

Juliana and I chilled at home for a bit and then headed to the mall. May I just say: Sephora is such a fun place to take the nieces. It’s a playground for women of all ages. I got to be the cool aunt and put some pink lip gloss and dark eye shadow on her. We also tried some nail polish.

See that bright orange blur on her ring finger? We called it “crazy color.” Its real name is Burst of Mango Cream. I like it a lot. If I still like it one week, two weeks, a month from now, I may actually buy it. Juju scored a sample of Marc Jacobs Daisy fragrance simply for being adorable.

After Sephora, we checked out Anthropologie. I go into an Anthropologie whenever I see one. I spend a good amount of time just looking at everything in the store, but I never buy anything. Today, though, I actually bought a top. And it was a size small which may mean nothing to most of you who are reading this but FUCK YEAH IT WAS A SMALL AND I FIT INTO IT. My niece was very encouraging and loved looking around the store as well. This was her favorite item:

I think she was upset that I didn’t buy it or even try it on, but… er… no comment. After Anthropologie, we stopped at Potbelly for a milkshake and cookie, and then it was time to head home. We only hit three places, but we had spent a good two hours at the mall. Juju was wiped out.

Later on, we ladies (my sister, both my nieces and I) headed out for some dinner.

I had a really fun day hanging out with my girls. It may not have been the most productive day ever, but I got my butt out of the house AND had a great time. My sister and nieces are excellent company and kept me in good spirits. I’m really grateful for days like today.

Currently

It’s Sunday night and I’m waiting for Mad Men to come on. I’m also dreading having to go to work tomorrow. There’s thunder outside, but I’m enjoying a caramel-flavored coffee and passing the time by watching Doctor Who (zOMG, it’s the CYBERMEN! Help us, Doctor!).

Favorite links this week

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do. - Oh, McSweeney’s. I love you.

What does it take to come up with a really great idea? - I’m a sucker for this sort of art.

Jennifer Lawrence’s Favorite Books - Ugh, Jennifer Lawrence. You’re talented, pretty, funny, and you can read, too? Stop it. (Honestly, I just kind of love the shot of her reading on The Hunger Games set.)

The Awesome Story Of Caine’s Arcade - You’ve probably seen this already. Watch it again. (via Nerdist)

Chocolatepalooza: Chocolove, Koko Black, Artisan du Chocolat - I love chocolate! Nice review of a few chocolates that I now want to try.

Random

I can get these super delicious chocolate croissants at work. Despite them being non-vegan-friendly, I get at least one a week if they’re available. The best part of getting a chocolate croissant is ordering them with a French accent: “Oui, oui, I would like ze soy latte and ze shawcolah crorssahn, s’il vous plait.” Evelyn, my friendly barista, thinks I’m bonkers.

Updates

My skinny pants came in! I am delighted to report that they fit. Now, all I have to do is figure out some flattering outfits. I think I’m going to have to buy some new shoes that go better with them, too. Being a pretty lady is not easy… and I’m not 100% convinced that I don’t look ridiculous all the time, no matter how much effort I put in to my appearance.

Work was exhausting this past week. I learned a lot… a lot of stuff that I almost wish I didn’t know. We’ll see what happens. The good thing is that, no matter how busy or tiring work gets, I have great colleagues to lean on. I also have great colleagues who make me laugh ’til there are tears in my eyes.

I’ve had a great week of laughter thanks to friends, wacky work stuff, and funny podcasts. I love comedy! I really love laughing. And I really, really love when I make other people laugh.

Looking Ahead

I still have a secret mission that I’m hoping to complete by the end of the month. Uggghhh. While I’m completely aware that I need to be more proactive when it comes to making my wishes come true, I still have this hope that fate will throw me a bone and make it happen for me.

 

Come What May. No Regrets.

This is a chick. This chick is a metaphor for me. You see, I’m a chicken. Cluck, cluck! I have certainly had my moments of bravery, times when I have thought to myself, “Whoa, Melissa, what in the world are you doing?! You’re awesome!” But most of the time, I am a giant scaredy cat (or a cute tiny little chicken). Taking no action leads to the ever popular “what if?” which leads to “you would know ‘what if’ if you had just taken a chance” which leads to “goodness, I really suck” which leads to “hey, look at that person! they took a chance and fell on their face” which leads to “look at that person! they took a chance and it paid off” which leads to “goodness, I really suck and now I’m sad, too.”

Okay, okay. Before you start coming up with theories about my self-image and psychoanalyze my excuses along with my remarkable talent to come up with them, know this: I am a shy, weird, and uncomfortable dork. Shocker, right? I can revel in my moments, but then I go back into my head and wonder what everyone else thought or how a situation could have been better. I’m smart enough to know that no one out there thinks of me constantly or keeps a tally of my embarrassing or less-than-perfect moments, but I’m still that girl who wants everyone to like her and think well of her. I’m not a people pleaser, exactly. I’m more of a don’t-make-anyone-mad person.

I decided to give myself an exercise this month: Just do it. Say yes when you would usually say no (unless you have an actual reason to say no). It was brought on by a few deaths in the past several weeks. I think Buffy said it best in season 1, episode 1:

Buffy: Well, my philosophy– do you wanna hear my philosophy?
Willow: Yeah, I do!
Buffy: Life is short.
Willow: Life is short!
Buffy: Not original, I’ll grant you, but it’s true, you know? Why waste time being all shy and worrying about some guy and if he’s gonna laugh at you. Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.
Willow: Oh, that’s nice!

Yes, Willow. That IS nice. (I really miss Buffy, btw.) Now, I am not going to use this as an excuse to go crazy and show up to work wearing a low top, mini skirt, and platform stilettos just because I feel like it. But there are certainly a lot of things that I want to do and even need to do, but I keep waiting… waiting until it’s the “right” moment, until I’m in a better mood, until it stops raining, until it does rain. Simply put by Thomas Jefferson:

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

The last time I felt this way was when I returned home from Israel. I was determined to accomplish something everyday, whether it was finishing a project at work, meeting up with an old friend, cleaning out my closets, or reading a book instead of watching TV. It worked for awhile and I felt great! These days, the times when I feel worst are when I realize that I have wasted time or still have a task hanging over my head. Get it done, Melissa. Get it done without compromising who you are.

So far, I’m doing okay. Nothing major to report, but I have made plans. There are a few difficult tasks I have given myself. I only have things to gain if I step up and take a chance. Mostly, the tasks require me to leave my comfort zone a bit, but I know I will create memories and learn more once I step over that first hurdle. One task is work-related and a little scary. And one task scares the shit out of me, but it may change my life. Or it won’t. I’ll never know if I don’t try. I just want to be proud of myself and know that I did everything I could have possibly done! I want to know that I was the best Me that I could be! *cue inspirational music*

Have you done anything uberbrave lately? Tell me about it! I require inspiration.