Category Archives: Random Stuff

I’m Goofy and I Know It

I saw the most incredible thing while traveling last week:

It’s a dude using a pay phone. A DUDE USING A PAY PHONE. I obviously had to take a picture. What I was unable to capture (to my dismay) were the moments before he picked up the phone, when he read the instructions and then looked for change. HE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. Well, either he didn’t read the instructions well enough or no one was home because he never did speak to someone. Poor guy. I probably should have offered my assistance; he seemed to have trouble counting his change, too. I was not a good citizen at the moment. Plus, I was too busy giggling about it.

I caved and bought a pair of TOMS:

They’re comfy but let me warn you that I had to exchange my original pair for a half size smaller than my usual size. I’m a dumbass for not listening to my friend Monika when she told me to get a half size smaller. I do like them, but… how do I put this delicately… I have to be careful what outfits I pair them with because with the wrong pants or look, I basically look like an Asian refugee or female prisoner. This has to do with their slipper-like look, the fact that I’m Asian, and the fact that I have tiny feet (my TOMS are a size 5). TOMS gives a free pair of shoes to a child in need for every pair bought; Monika joked that I was one of the free pair recipients. Yes. That’s how they look on me. I’m wearing them anyway, dammit.

I finally finished reading Zeitoun. Wow. It’s so quietly powerful. I admit that I’m fiction’s bitch; it was Dave Eggers’s name that made me pick up Zeitoun more than anything else (yes, yes, ironic since he doesn’t really write fiction). I think it’s a really important story, and I would encourage you to read it. I started my next book, which was recommended to me by my friend Jen:

So far, so good. I may actually finish this one by next year…

This is nearly blasphemous, but I haven’t been keeping up with TV much lately. Mad Men is the only show I faithfully watch, but I did miss last night’s episode. It’s so good and Sunday nights are a perfect TV night for me. Plus, it’s Mad Men, people. If I’m only going to keep up with one show, it had best be Mad Men. Other than that, I’ve been marathoning Doctor Who. After Martha’s last episode, I wanted to pause before getting into the Donna episodes and the end of Tennant’s run. I feel like such a Who nerd for wanting to prolong Tennant’s run for as long as I can even though I’ve seen it all already and I’m a fan of Matt Smith’s doctor. Hahahaa, are you reading this? I can’t believe I’m talking about Doctor Who. Anyway, I still wanted something British, but more stiff and romantic, so I watched (for the first time) the BBC’s Pride & Prejudice miniseries:

Ewwww, Colin Firth! Stop being so sexy with that look and your dark curly hair and acting all snotty but then being all wonderful… I take it back, Colin Firth, please let me have your babies and is it okay if I call you Mister Darcy? Nothing will ever beat this adaptation! Disclaimer: I am not a Jane Austen nerd so take my assessment with a grain of salt. I loved it so much that I almost watched it again immediately, but there are other things to enjoy, such as Audrey Hepburn. I’ve never seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I know, I know! How lame of me. However, I did start by watching Sabrina and Audrey Hepburn is so pretty and petite and I hate her guts now.

In non-TV entertainment, I was uber elated to hear that the Art Institute will have a Roy Lichtenstein exhibit from May 16 through September 2. I fell in love with Lichtenstein when I saw a huge print of one of his works hanging in my boss’s office years ago. It’s such great Pop Art and I need to make sure I haul my ass downtown to see this one. Who wants to go with me?

Finally, and also in non-TV entertainment, I attended my niece’s dance recital yesterday.

Isn’t she sweet?!

Nah. She’s a goofball, just like her aunt. Alright, gotta go. I’m eating a mango and it needs my undivided attention!

Quit Looking At Me

Hey! Quit looking at me while I:

  • eat
  • work
  • clean
  • watch a movie you’ve already seen
  • flirt
  • shop
  • talk
  • brush my teeth
  • drive
While you’re at it, quit giving me compliments. Specifically, quit complimenting me on my presentation skills. Okay, I don’t really mean that. I did give a presentation today and I guess I didn’t suck. Sigh. I know I can be better at it and put in more effort, which is why I don’t take the compliments well. Also, no one is going to tell me to my face that I suck as a presenter, even though I solicit constructive criticism from my peers. I kept responding by saying that I was so nervous, I didn’t feel prepared, blah blah, so one person said that I “must be a good actress.” She’s not totally wrong.
When I am nervous or unsure, all I can do is think: WWYDIYWTMAVOY? What would you do if you were the most awesome version of yourself? There are times when we are put on the spot and we can either choke or be glorious. I choose to be glorious. I also choose to remain true to myself. Therefore, I can be quite the goof, even in a professional setting. Honestly, few things are more disappointing and downright weird than seeing a supposed professional tightass wearing a cropped t-shirt and making out with her husband in a public place. I speak from experience, people. I’ll respect you much more if you let your freak flag fly all the time.

LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY! Unless it involves you looking at me while I eat. Seriously. Get help if you’re a dining spectator. It’s just not right.

Potpourri

It was Easter yesterday. There’s something about the holiday that brings out the weird in little kids. Last year, it was a chore trying to get a picture of the nieces. This year? I think  Juju’s face says it all (she’s the one on the left). But, hey! It was my nephew’s first Easter.

When I think of Easter, I think of chocolate. Right now, I’m enjoying a mini Vosges Black Pearl Bar: ginger, wasabi, black sesame seeds, dark chocolate. Holy freakin’ crap. I impulse purchased this while checking out at Whole Foods one day. This is a perfect chocolate bar. It’s kind of pricey, though!

Speaking of pricey things, I love that I can mention $745 hi-top sneakers to my co-worker and not only does she immediately know what I’m talking about, but she goes on to say what I was going to say next: all the knock-offs aren’t worth it and we’d never wear them anyway. But seriously. I can buy 100 regular-sized Vosges chocolate bars with that money. Shoes? I don’t know about that.

Speaking of footwear, I’m thinking of getting a pair of TOMS. Is that female-douchey? They look comfortable and ugly-cute enough that I can wear them without looking like I”m trying too hard. Plus, they have a vegan version of their classic shoe. After searching for $745 hi-top sneakers, I’m thinking that TOMS aren’t a bad investment. Hmmmm….. HMMMMM.

Speaking of ugly-cute but comfortable, I had a hell of a day today in terms of how I look. Hello, fashion disaster! And, hello zit on my face! I also didn’t comb my hair. I should just erase the “cute” from “ugly-cute.” What’s really sad is that today is a prime example of how I used to look most days, until I realized that it doesn’t take a lot of hard work to look cute.

Speaking of cute, I think ASOS is my new favorite online store. I bought some pants and tops from them over the weekend. Free shipping, free returns, tons of stylish inventory and a PETITES section! Oh, perfection. Prices range from not-bad-at-all to would-you-like-my-first-born-child-with that.

Well, I’m going to try and enjoy what’s left of my Monday. This will be another interesting week for me. I’ll be training on some new stuff at work. I have tickets to a show on Friday but I need (want) someone to go with me. I don’t want to waste any time this week! Let’s do stuff and be alive, people.

Pretty, Funny, Mysterious

It’s technically Thursday, but I’m in Friday mode since I took tomorrow off. It’s been a roller coaster week of sorts.

I literally had a sleepless night because I was worried about work, which is just so wrong. I think my job is secure, I’m confident I do a good job, and I’ve learned how to deal with change and different personalities. But something happened this week that bothered me so much that I didn’t feel better until I sat down to discuss it. Unfortunately, I had to wait a day, and I couldn’t stop wondering how the discussion would go. Would I be upset? Would I get aggressive and be disrespectful? Would I lose my nerve and fail to voice all my concerns? It all ended up okay, but I never want to lose sleep over work again.

In more fun updates, I decided to be bold and wear my lip stain a couple days this week. My work BFF told me it was pretty, and “pretty” kind of became a theme today in the weirdest way. See, I couldn’t figure out what to wear this morning, and I ended up solving my problem in an unorthodox (and very non-Melissa) way. I got so many compliments: “Oooh, that’s pretty!” and “Wow! You look so pretty today!” and “I like your sweater!” So… what was I wearing? Um… black pants, black sleeveless top, and a floral cardigan–Talbots brand–that I took from my Mom’s closet. I felt pretty awesome with my clever fashion choice this morning, but my sister, the person who knows me better than anyone, brought me back to earth by cracking up when she saw me wearing the cardigan.

I guess my fashion tastes are definitely changing. I really need to go shopping for two reasons. First, I want clothes that are more flattering versus safe/fits OK/dark/hides my fat rolls. Alright, it’s not like I want to put my fat rolls on display. And I’m being a little hard on myself with the whole fat rolls thing. I really need to stop typing ‘fat rolls.’ I’ve gotten inspiration from a couple blogs that provide great fashion ideas and advice.

jillgg’s good life (for less) is a great blog with a lot of ideas, product features, trends, and style tips. I love all the outfit ideas and photos. I especially love that the products featured on the site are affordable and just very cool. It’s my type of style. She recently posted an outfit using stripes and florals (see photo above) that I cannot get out of my head! Must shop.

Stylywear features more high-end fashion, but it is focused on corporate style and provides great advice. I started a mental shopping list in my head after perusing the blog for 20 minutes. When you see me in slim pants, leggings, or high wasted pants, you’ll know that it’s because I followed the advice on this blog.

In other news, someone anonymously left a gift on my work BFFs desk. We tried to solve the mystery yesterday, but we still don’t know where the fruit came from. I’m not above admitting that I’m a little jealous that she got an anonymous gift and I didn’t. What the hell?! But the whole situation has inspired and motivated me to leave secret gifts on other people’s desks… Hmmmm….

Finally, I am super jazzed because I booked two trips today! One is coming up in three weeks. The other is in late July. I am really looking forward getting away and chilling out with some of my favorite people. How lucky am I that I can afford to visit my friends and am welcomed with open arms?! I’m very lucky.

Untitled Rant.

Nothing is working. Nothing. I try one thing and it makes me mental: paranoia, slight depression. I try something else and it has no effect. None. Just a waste of time and money. I try again. “This will be the one,” they say. “Go for it!” I try it. It backfires. Deep in my heart, I had a feeling it would.

As a kid, I never worried about it. I was carefree. I thought, “I’m too young right now. When it’s meant to happen, IF it’s meant to happen, it will happen.” I got older, and suddenly, I had this itch. It was irritating. I tried not to be bothered by it, but I didn’t like it. I tried to fight it. But I had to accept the facts, no matter what. I can’t fight it, just as I can’t fight getting older.

I saw other people get affected by it. However, they found success. They found something that worked and they stuck with it. They’re done; they’re happy. My eyes water as I wonder what is so wrong with me that I have to keep trying and keep waiting. Will it ever get better? Or will I be miserable forever, waiting in vain for the day when I can rest happily?

I guess I could get a cat. Maybe a cat will make me happy. A cat would probably make my problems worse, though.

Ugh.

I really hate this. I just hate feeling like this. And there is nothing out there that will treat my condition and ease my pain.

Allergies are the WORST.

Zooey Deschanel is a Charming Alien.

This is not a rant about Zooey Deschanel. It may seem like it is, but it isn’t. The truth is that I’m a little jealous of her. Ew, I can’t believe I admitted that. Anyway, I get the appeal of Zooey Deschanel —- to an extent. She’s cute, adorable, sexy. But she’s also completely quirky and, let’s face it, kind of out there. I can’t help but feel like all the dudes who get all unf about her are hypocrites. Most of you, anyway. I mean, COME ON. She seems so awkward and SHE NEVER STOPS BEING ADORABLE. Let’s not forget that she and Katy Perry and Emily Blunt have nearly the same face (not that there is anything wrong with that). In real life, Zooey would be your everyday cute weirdo. There’s nothing wrong with that. I would love to be an everyday cute weirdo but most of the time I’m a creepy, frowny weirdo.

There’s no doubt that ZD is intelligent and attractive. I want to be friends with her. I would also like to see her in a normal t-shirt and jeans without any makeup on. That’s the thing, though… the overwhelming reason for me to put ZD in the “Like” column of my Likes/Dislikes list is because she’s so her. It’s in what she wears, how she speaks, how she carries herself. Zooey is Zooey and Zooey is (or at least seems to be) 100% confident about her Zooey-ness. She knows what she likes, she’s not afraid to show it, and she has the face/body/brain to pull it off. God, I hope she’s not scamming the world by being “Zooey” instead of Zooey.

Are you still with me?

It’s only been recently that I have started to try and define my style. I used to call my style the “Soccer Mom Who Isn’t A Soccer Mom” look. It was really kind of disgusting and unflattering. I was a jeans and t-shirt and gym shoes kind of girl. My color palette usually consisted of black, grey, black, grey, and more black. Cardigans, cardigans, cardigans. No skirts or dresses unless there was a special reason for it (or it’s laundry day and I’m desperate). Hair down, no makeup, accessorize with simple earrings, a ring, and my watch. Alright… all of that still describes my style, but I’m wearing clothes that are more flattering instead of loose-fitting (showing off my assets, if you will) and opting to wear nicely cut tops instead of a standard t-shirt that says “YOUR FAVORITE BAND SUCKS” on it. YES, this just turned into a post about style!

I kind of adore ZD’s style. It’s girly, bold, sometimes a little too quirky, but like I said: she has the face and body to pull it off. Let’s take the bangs, for example. I HEART HER BANGS. If my hair would cooperate and make it possible for my bangs to look Zooey Deschanel’s, I would have bangs all the time. It’s entirely possible that she has a professional bang stylist, but still. It’s not fair!

I don’t think my style is as feminine and colorful as ZD’s. A co-worker and I were reading Cosmo during lunch today, and there was a “What’s Your Style?” page. We agreed that I mostly fall into the “girly” category with some “edge” but little “glam.” Let’s face it. Glam and I don’t exactly go hand-in-hand, and it’s not like I’m going to show up to work in a sequin skirt unless someone dares me or I lose a bet. I appreciate fashion but I’m mostly conservative. I’m not completely in love with my body and it’s hard to feel confident in something that’s too colorful or doesn’t fit right.

I’ve been incorporating more color into what I wear. I always had color in my closet, along with fabulous shoes and skirts and dresses, but I rarely wore any of them. I may have joked about having pants for each day of the week and rotating them week in and week out, but that was the reality. Why the change? I lost some weight and can actually wear clothes in my “Wear This When You Lose Weight” pile. My new-ish work environment made me want to step up my look and look more professional and put together. And this is pathetic, but I wanna look the way I feel and have my style reflect my personality. It seems so easy for most people, but it’s a challenge for me.

This above photo is very much a Me look. Quit copying me, Zooey. LOLJK. I truly do like this everyday casual look, though. What really slays me about ZD is the makeup:

Between the crazy blue eyes and the eyeliner/mascara? WHAT?!?! Stop it, Zooey. Just stop it. You’re putting my brown eyes to shame and teasing me because I lack any ability to apply eyeliner.

The point of this post is, Zooey Deschanel is attractive but unusual. She’s a charming alien. I think I’m a charming alien, too. I’m quirky. I act like a complete fool sometimes and I am thisclose to being brave enough to reflect who I am in what I dress and what I wear. Bye bye conservative soccer mom who isn’t a mom. No, wait! Come back! I can’t afford a new wardrobe! Dammit.

The Upside to Oversleeping

I guess it’s somewhat of a perk that I’m usually at my parents’ house since my Mom had to wake me up this morning. 7am, I’m usually out the door on my way to work. Today, I was sleeping, having an awesome dream about who knows what. “Melissa, are you okay?” she asked. “BLeh yah no alarm what time ish id?” I replied.

“It’s seven!”

Luckily, there’s flexibility at work. There’s no pressure to be totally on time. I got up and did the getting ready and showering thing. I was a little panicked because I got up later than usual, but also super refreshed from the awesome rest I had. It took me less time to get ready because I had so much energy and adrenaline.

My normal routine is to hit the snooze button for an hour, get out of bed feeling exhausted, slowly get ready, and then yawn on the way to work. Today, I was in a good mood and felt energetic. The day ended up going by quickly.

Oversleeping once in awhile isn’t a bad thing. Besides… I need my beauty sleep!

Ready? OK!

DO YOU KNOW that it’s National Cheerleading Week? Oh my gosh, it is! Can you dig it? Can you D-I-G-I-T?!?

I was a cheerleader in 4th grade. Our school colors were red and white, and our mascot was the cardinal. Cardinals, you’re looking -clap- GREAT! It’s almost laughable that I was a cheerleader. Sure, I was spunky, had a lot of energy, and I had a lot of school spirit. Ahem. But I wasn’t exactly athletic. I am talking picked-last-in-gym-class levels of athleticism.

Looking back, I am really not sure why I decided to go out for cheerleading. I suppose I must have been impressed by the cheerleaders at our school pep rallies. They wore cute outfits and they always looked like they were having fun. There was something about the routines they did, how they knew when to clap, when to stomp; the motions they made with their bodies that looked complicated, but were really just simple and calculated. I suppose I thought, “I can do that. I can be peppy. I can be loud and cheerful.”

We had to learn two cheers for varsity tryouts. I practiced and I was ready when it was my turn to show off in front of the coach. I knew I did the best I could possibly have done, but I still wasn’t sure if I would make the squad. There were already a few girls who were in the squad the previous year, and only a limited number would be selected. I was elated when I saw that I made the squad and even more elated when my coach remarked that I had great jump height.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to be a super gymnast. Cheerleading for me was learning routines, staying in sync with the other girls, memorizing cheers, and committing to practices and cheering at school sports events. No pyramids, no splits, no tumbling aside from the occasional cartwheel. I loved our coach. She was laid-back, trustworthy, and helped us keep a positive attitude even when our team was losing or the opposing team’s cheerleaders were doing aerial cartwheels. (She wasn’t too happy when we bent over, lifted up our skirts, and shouted, “UP YOURS!” to the other cheerleaders at a football game that one time.)

My cheerleading days are a blur to me now. I still remember some of the cheers and routines. I bust them out from time to time, successfully creeping out anyone who is around me.

Hey! Hey you!
You really think you’re cool
You thought that you were winning
But you ran out of fuel!

You found out
That we’ve got class
It must have been confusing
‘Cause you ran out of gas!

My favorite thing about cheerleading had little to do with cheerleading. I used to ride with the same family when we drove to away games. I’m not even sure how or why I ended up riding with them. My fellow squad member was one or two grades ahead of me, and our only interaction was during cheerleading practice or games. BUT ANYWAY, my favorite thing about cheerleading is the impact it had on my music tastes. Specifically, cheerleading and riding around with that family was my introduction to the oldies. Of course, I had heard all the old songs before. The Supremes. The Beatles. Dave Clark Five. Dusty Springfield. But this experience made it different. The dad would sing along as he drove. My peers liked the music. It was such a happy car to be in. I found myself going home and setting the dial to 104.3. I would listen to it after school and dance around in my bedroom. Even if cheerleading sucked, the way it fueled my appreciation for the oldies would have made the entire experience worth it.

GoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CARDINALS!!!!

Wonder

I am filled with wonder, amazement, admiration. You are intelligent, funny, serious. But you’re a mystery to me. We have never spoken. Maybe we’ve exchanged a glance or two. Maybe it’s all in my head. It doesn’t matter, though. Not yet. The wondering makes me happy. It makes my heart race. It makes me smile. It makes me wonder who wonders about me?

We all have admirers. And I am yours.

Dentally Unstable

Age 7: 4 teeth pulled.

Age 11: 7 teeth pulled.

Age 11: Braces. Headgear.

Age 13: Braces out. Retainer.

Age 21: Gingival graft. x4. Frenectomy. Mouth guard.

Age 30: Gingival graft.

Age 31: Gingival graft.

Allow me to pause for a moment as I realize that I am, in fact, 31 years old. Shit.

Okay, I’m back. If I put a price tag next to all the dental procedures I have had (so far), I gotta say… I would almost be okay with my teeth falling out. I brush three times a day. I floss. I wear my mouth guard every night. Gum recession happens anyway. WTF?!

I used to love going to the dentist, knowing that I was doing all I could to maintain my dental health, leaving the office feeling squeaky clean. Ever since I was little, I knew I was predisposed to having bad gums. Damn genes. Then, factor in that I have a small mouth. After my baby teeth fell out, my adult teeth decided to revolt and grow out on top of each other. Braces were required. And getting the braces required that I get even more teeth pulled. I thought it was over, until it turned out that my gums decided to revolt. Yuck. I won’t even go into what a gingival graft is. Suffice to say that it’s nasty. But it’s also cool.

I most recently had a gingival graft last Friday. I hope its my last one EVER. After the novocaine shots–a few on the gums and a few into the roof of the mouth–the procedure itself is painless. You just kind of lay there while your gums get cut up, your tooth root gets scraped, the roof of your mouth gets cut up, and then the periodontist painstakingly sews it all up with a small hook-shaped needle and thread. Oh, sorry. I said I wasn’t gonna get into it. The best part is when you’re done and you sit up, look down at the giant bib, and see all the blood. Delicious.

One of the kind of awesome things about this past procedure and the one before is that my periodontist (who is really awesome) used porcine stem cells for the procedure. I try not to think too hard about the fact that I have an animal’s stem cells living in my mouth, mostly because it’s amazing. I mean, there are people who are growing teeth in dogs using stem cells. Soon, we may be able to GROW TEETH instead of getting false ones. Cuh-razy.

But anyway, here’s the deal, kids: Take care of your teeth. Brush them. Floss at least once a day and floss the “right” way. I either get yelled at for not flossing enough or for flossing too hard. Listen to your dentist. My dentist is harsh, but she’s honest. And if she, my orthodontist, and my periodontist have been in cahoots to get me to shell out cash for procedures I don’t need… that is just way too clever of a conspiracy and I choose to believe that every procedure I have had has been necessary lest I end up with false teeth by age 35. Also, if you or someone you love grinds their teeth, tell your dentist or, at the very least, buy yourself a mouth guard from the drug store (but really, tell your dentist). I wake up with major headaches and achy teeth sometimes from all the tooth grinding. It’s rough on my gums.

Don’t take your teeth for granted!

P.S. I can’t wait until I can smile normally again. I’m going to look grumpy for the next two weeks because the procedure makes it hard for me to contort my mouth into a smile. Oh, well!