Hey! Quit looking at me while I:
- watch a movie you’ve already seen
- brush my teeth
While you’re at it, quit giving me compliments. Specifically, quit complimenting me on my presentation skills. Okay, I don’t really mean that. I did give a presentation today and I guess I didn’t suck. Sigh. I know I can be better at it and put in more effort, which is why I don’t take the compliments well. Also, no one is going to tell me to my face that I suck as a presenter, even though I solicit constructive criticism from my peers. I kept responding by saying that I was so nervous, I didn’t feel prepared, blah blah, so one person said that I “must be a good actress.” She’s not totally wrong.
When I am nervous or unsure, all I can do is think: WWYDIYWTMAVOY? What would you do if you were the most awesome version of yourself? There are times when we are put on the spot and we can either choke or be glorious. I choose to be glorious. I also choose to remain true to myself. Therefore, I can be quite the goof, even in a professional setting. Honestly, few things are more disappointing and downright weird than seeing a supposed professional tightass wearing a cropped t-shirt and making out with her husband in a public place. I speak from experience, people. I’ll respect you much more if you let your freak flag fly all the time.
LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY! Unless it involves you looking at me while I eat. Seriously. Get help if you’re a dining spectator. It’s just not right.
/ –> SLASH or FORWARD SLASH
\ –> BACKSLASH
/ is a slash.
\ is a backslash.
/ = slash!
\ = backslash!
Dear People of the World:
When you get poo all over your toilet seat at home, do you:
A) leave it there, OR
B) clean up after yourself?
The correct answer is B. So, for the love of all that is pure and innocent, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM, TOO. Especially if it’s the restroom at work.
Ladies be filthy around here. FILTHY. NASTY.
Monday Award Nominations
I would like to nominate the Printer. Its Paper Jam performance this morning made me well up with emotions such as frustration and annoyance, and also set me back about 20 minutes on what is a very busy day. Bravo, Printer!
I would also like to nominate my Computer. Its performance in PC Freeze made me wonder what poor decision I made that led me to this precise moment. It takes a special talent to bring about those thoughts in a person.
It’s winter in Chicago, which means that Old Man Winter is also nominated. Without gloominess, morning car accidents, and the promise of a hellish afternoon commute due to snow and icy conditions, it wouldn’t be a Monday!
Rounding out the nominees is the Internet. Its performance in Distraction and Time Suck make Mondays seem less bad, but then more bad when one realizes that it took 15 minutes to type up this blog post.
Back to work!
The Outhouse is my new name for the bathroom at work. I just don’t get it. I can forgive horrible poop smells because, let’s face it–you can’t really control how your poop smells. The fact is that the Outhouse always smells like crap (or like dead rodent), toilets are unflushed, there’s stuff on the toilet seat, and there is ALWAYS someone in there.
Then, there’s the public restroom mystery that I blogged about before: the unflushed poop with NO TOILET PAPER IN THE BOWL. How does that happen?
I’m grateful that there are other restrooms that are less gross and convenient to use. The Outhouse is disgusting. In fact, it’s so gross, that I often consider using the mens room instead.
The sound of people chewing, swallowing, slurping, etc is annoying!!! I understand that there are some sounds you can’t control. But, sometimes, people sound like they’re making love to their food. They groan a little, sometimes squeak, and there’s the ever-famous sigh-and-moan combo while food is stuffed in your pie hole.
What do YOU think about noisy eaters?
Ginger is a damn annoying root. I do generally like it, especially in chocolate or in the form of ginger ale. But sometimes, it’s too much. There are certain dishes that don’t usually have ginger in them and don’t need ginger in them (ahem, chicken soup). And the worst thing is when you end up biting a piece of ginger because it’s all in little bits throughout the dish instead of in big chunks that are easy to separate out.
My worst experience with ginger was in the Philippines when I was about 8. We went somewhere and were encourage to try ginger water. From Wikipedia:
In the Philippines a traditional health drink called “salabat” is made for breakfast by boiling chopped ginger and adding sugar; it is considered good for a sore throat.
Ugh, nasty! Think about ginger. Think about how spicy ginger can be if you bite into it. Now imagine that taste in a hot water form.
People, only use ginger if you need to. Thanks.
…you’ve been reloading Twitter.com for the past ten minutes, waiting for the Fail Whale to go away. Sheezus.
What’s your favorite food? Favorite movie? Favorite mixed drink? Favorite band?
I really, really, really dislike these types of questions. I’ll admit that it’s natural for me to refer to something as a favorite (eg, Kurt is my favorite character on Glee). I think that’s natural for a lot of people. But there are few things that are true favorites of mine. For example, I am currently obsessed White Chocolate KitKat, but that doesn’t mean that I want 50 pounds of the stuff and to be labeled the “white chocolate KitKat girl” for the rest of my life.