Tag Archives: Driving

Two Old Ladies in a Buick

Dear Diary,

I generally get annoyed when I’m behind a car that’s going below the speed limit. But, the other day, I ended up behind two old ladies in a Buick. Seriously! I swear, Matt Saracen’s grandma was driving the car. AUGH!

Yours truly,
i-cant-drive

P.S. Driving in the snow is bogus!

Light Snow + Super Cold = AUGHWEIRA!!!!

Dear Diary,

Today, my car slid around the road a litte bit as I made a right turn. It was sort of creepy. It was also sort of funny. I didn’t get frazzled by it, but I’m really lucky that there were no other cars or pedestrians in the vicinity.

Thank God for small favors, huh? I’ll need to be a little more cautious when the roads are slippery. My poor little Civic just can’t take it!

Yours truly,
i-cant-drive

Riding Someone's Bumper is Wrong…Right?

Dear Diary,

I think the driving gods are messing with me. I keep ending up behind these slow grandpas who can’t even drive the speed limit. I mean, it happened to me on every road I was on today. And, just as I thought I lost the person, I ended up behind another slowpoke. Why? Why? Why????

Come on! I mean, I hate it when people go fast and drive like maniacs. But can’t people at least drive the speed limit???

Frustrated,
i-cant-drive

P.S. It is totally time to start driving on the highway. Stoplights be damned!! Too bad I hate switching lanes.

Am I the Only Person Who is Annoyed by Windshield Wipers?

Dear Diary,

It’s been rainy or snowy lately, and that has required me to use my windshield wipers. While they are extremely important, I can’t help but be completely annoyed by them:

  • They never seem to have the perfect speed.
  • Sometimes, that squeaky noise they make….oooh…it kills me.
  • There are circumstances when you get windshield wiper streaks. Ew! I hate windshield wiper streaks!

Now, I’m going to completely change the topic. Did you ever do something completely nuts, but not realize it until you had already done it? I was going around this car and, I swear, I was probably only half an inch away from it. I am CRAZY!!

Bye.
i-cant-drive

The Fast and the Furious(ly Slow)

Dear Diary,

Before I drove off for work this morning, I thought to myself, “Self, this is going to be a nice drive. Lots of people are off today and it should be smooth sailing.” I couldn’t have been more wrong! All the butt monkeys and grandpas were out this morning. I got stuck behind a lady going 30mph in a 45mph zone. And I couldn’t get around her! Then, this dude was totally riding my ass, finally gets around me, and turns into….a Dunkin Donuts parking lot. Come on, people!! Are you serious?

Thanks for reading my rant.
i-cant-drive

Welcome to Winter, Bitch!

Dear Diary,

I had to clean snow off my car for the first time ever today. It blows! To top it off, I’m in the suburbs, a good hour away from home, and it is still snowing. Sigh. Maybe I should just stay here overnight and drive back to Chicago tomorrow. Hey, IDOT – how about you start cleaning the alleys?! Having a garage is great until you have to drive through 3 feet of snow to get to it.

Thanks for reading my rant!
i-cant-drive

The Dreaded Yellow Light

Dear Diary,

I get why the yellow light exists. It’s a nice 3 second warning that the light’s about to turn red. But it makes me so nervous when I’m in that “should I stay or should I floor it” spot! Plus, these dang traffic cameras take pictures of anything in the intersection during a yellow light – and you get a stupid ticket for not stopping (hasn’t yet happened to me). So, should I be a good citizen and stop, which puts me in a risky situation because the person behind me can slam right into me, OR do I just gun it and hope I don’t get “caught”? AGUEHSJDFIJ!!!!

Happy Friday!
i-cant-drive

Crazy Driving Day

Dear Diary,

My car and I did not have a good day. First, we drove into some snow mounds. That wasn’t fun. Then, we went to get gas. But we went to a faulty pump, got frustrated, and drove off after only putting in a couple of gallons. For some reason, I was all spastic with my steering today. It was scary! Off-days when you’re driving is just unsafe. And then – AND THEN – I wasn’t able to park in the garage myself because of crunchy frozen snow in the alley. My mom had to park the car for me. But it beats hitting her car, which is what I would have ended up doing if I kept trying to do it myself.

Sigh. My poor car.

Yours truly,
i-cant-drive